"Alright you scum, listen up. I've been asked to get a special unit together for a dangerous mission in the old industrial sector. The brass have classified this as a suicide mission, and have decided not to throw away Unity personnel and equipment on an impossibility. But they've given me special dispensation to use the lot of you in one last, desperate attempt to pull it off. Many of you -- hell, most of you, even -- will not survive. But those that do will obtain a full pardon for your crimes, and your freedom. Any of you want to back out now, that's fine with me, but this is your only chance to avoid a one-way ticket to the soylent factory. Can I assume we're all agreed? Good.
"Now, since you don't know each other, allow me to make the introductions.
"Dirk Striker, career mercenary. A man's man, and a soldier's soldier. Spec-ops commando. Decorated veteran of the Antares Revolt. Medals for courage, valour, and bravery. Then abandoned by your unit at the battle of Tannhäuser Gate -- a betrayal for which you never forgave them. You'll get your revenge some day, I wager, but you've got to learn to keep you nose clean until then. Tell me, son, just how does a man of your talents get picked up on a public urination charge?"
"I was framed!"
"That's what they all say.
"Next we have Len 'Slow Hand' Luvvermann. You left a pretty cushy job in Megacity 8, and for what? The life of a scoundrel, traipsing round the galaxy in search of the zipless fuck, with nothing but a duelling pistol and a holo-crystal containing every known recording of Ravel's Boléro."
"You forgot to mention my boss threads."
"Look, I don't know what sort of 'trip' you're on, son, but no one is above following our space quarantine procedures. Our top scientists have traced the recent outbreak of Disco Fever to its source: you.
"Now we come to... um, corporal, help me out here. How do you say that?"
"Um, er.... well, she goes by 'Zllgx', sir."
"Now we come to Zg... Zlllug.... to this alien. A nomad, from a low-tech colony, whose name I'm also not about to attempt. A long way from your homeworld, aren't we? This may be the Fringe, but we are still a civilised planet. Perhaps you should have acquainted yourself with our laws and customs. Wearing white shoes after Labour day is a serious offence.
"Pllrsmgv!"
"Uh... that's no excuse.
"Moving on... say hello to Wilmer Glorp. An Engineer from the enclave in brown sector. Works as an enforcer for the Zortrino crime family in their traffic division. It's said they'll validate parking anywhere -- for a price. But those who can't pay up get a visit from good ol' Wilmer here. Such greed: all those credits coming in, and still too cheap to pay for a TV licence."
"I wasn't watching anything! I just needed to know who'd won Strictly."
"I've heard it all before.
"Next up, we have a true enigma. She was apprehended with a pocket full of false Identi-cards: Muffy Meyers, Muffy Kruger, Muffy Voorhees... Tell me, miss, is any of these your real identity?"
"I am legion."
"No matter. But it's ironic, isn't it: you elude the law with all these aliases, only to get brought in for overdue library books. And between you and me, you're lucky we found you before the library's enforcement squad did -- they don't take prisoners.
"Finally we have this... bot? I don't rightly know what this bot is supposed to have done, but I'm not paid to ask questions, so... the six of you move out at 22:00."
Campaign Notes & Character Records
I'm not a wargamer, but the light roleplaying elements of 5 Parsecs sucked me in. Plus it's a great excuse to dig out my Lego.
All my PCs were rolled entirely randomly using the 3rd edition
Five Parsecs from Home rulebook, and the minifigs constructed to fit them. When I rolled on the Crew Table (p. 32) for flavour details, I got:
We met through: being in trouble with the authorities
We are best characterised as: cut-throat outlawsAnd that's what gave me the idea to start them off with a Dirty Dozen origin story. The first Campaign Turn, therefore, was heavily modified. I rolled their mission randomly, and did check for Conditions and Hazard Pay, since it will be a standard campaign from here on in. They will have a ship as normal, and there are a few items aboard it / in the crew's Stash. The Colonel who put together the mission counts as the Patron that one of the PCs (I think it was Wilmer) got as a benefit during character creation.
I set the campaign difficulty to Challenging since I don't want battles with too few enemies.
Dirk Striker
------------
Type: Baseline human
Background: Military outpost
Motivation: Revenge
Class: Mercenary
Reactions 2
Speed 4"
Combat +1
Toughness 3
Savvy +0
Luck 1
XP 2
blast pistol, boarding sabreThe background/motivation/class results made it immediately obvious that this would be the crew's Leader. The combination also made it obvious that he needed the most risibly macho 90s action movie name possible. I almost spelt Striker with a y to make it look "cool", but I decided to go for the explicit Traveller reference instead.
Len "Slow Hand" Luvvermann
--------------------------
Type: Baseline human
Background: Comfortable megacity class
Motivation: Romance
Class: Scoundrel
Reactions 1
Speed 5"
Combat +0
Toughness 3
Savvy +0
duelling pistolI wasn't sure what to make of the scoundrel searching the galaxy for romance, so I went with 70s (also very early 80s) space adventurer. And maybe leaned into the 70s part a little too hard. He's probably a liability.
Wilmer Glorp
------------
Type: Engineer
Background: Subjugated colony on alien world
Motivation: Survival
Class: Enforcer
Reactions 1
Speed 4"
Combat +1
Toughness 3
Savvy +1
Military rifleEngineers seem to be the non-copyright-infringing stand-ins for the quarians from Mass Effect. They are physically frail, having a maximum Toughness of 4, regardless of armour or enhancements. Wilmer's only got the Toughness of a base human character due to a bonus from his Survival motivation. I often mix film noir with my sci-fi, so the enforcer got named after the gunsel in the Maltese Falcon. Let's hope he has a better run than his namesake.
Muffy (real name unknown)
-------------------------
Type: Mysterious Past
Background: Giant overcrowded dystopian city & Frontier gang
Motivation: Discovery
Class: Starship crew
Reactions 1
Speed 5"
Combat +1
Toughness 3
Savvy +2
handgunAn interstellar woman of mystery, Muffy would have been the crew leader, had I not rolled up an action hero to claim that rôle. If she ever leaves due to a random event, I'll have her form her own crew, and use this one as Rivals.
Zngprxtxlzf "Zllgx" Pkzlmqpsg
-----------------------------
Type: Minor alien
Background: Low-tech colony
Motivation: Wealth
Class: Nomad
Reactions 1
Speed 4"
Combat +0
Toughness 3
Savvy +0
special: max 4 Toughness, +1 repair rolls
blade, colony rifleZllgx is a nomadic Sbzdomite from the desert world, Llandudno 9. The only things she cares about in this life are credits, credits, hpgdreqjju, and credits. Credits she can get anywhere, but she'd kill her own brood-mother for hpgdreqjju. Maybe she already did.
GBH-Ω
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Type: Bot
Reactions 2
Speed 4"
Combat +1
Toughness 4
Savvy +2
brutal mêlée weapon, sonic emitter
built-in armour 6+I'd originally envisioned GBH as some sort of off-brand warbot (hence the designation). Two battles in, and I'm pretty sure that's a mistake. Perhaps it's a janitorial bot, in over its head. This fighting does not compute!
Next post: the mission!